Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. 3. And armbands. Trouble is, most of them suck. "Events.SushiEndpoint": "https://unagi.amazon.com/1/events/com.amazon.csm.csa.prod", To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. George Carlin, 61. _Q: [] The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. I hate groups of people. What do you get at the end of it? It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, 65. function(a9, a, p, s, t, A, g) { His jokes were certainly aimed to provoke others but the hows and whys of it made him so exceptional. When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. var gptAdSlots = gptAdSlots || []; And fight songs. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, 73. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. "ObfuscatedMarketplaceId": "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1" Really? }); //George Carlin Quote On Critical Thinking | by Ruth | Medium a[a9]._Q.push([c, r]) George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads 50 Best John Mulaney Quotes For Every Comedy Fan, 13 Best Writing Tools for Inspired Authors, 30 Of The Best Dale Carnegie Quotes on Having a Great Life, 45+ Enlightening Quotes and Pieces of Advice, Inspirational & Spiritual Quotes From (365) Days of Tumblr, 40 Progressively Inspirational Sevenly.org Quotes, 45 Inspiring Quotations That Will Change The Way You Think #2, 5 Tips To Keep In Mind Before Hiring a Therapist Online, comedy about a singer who pretends to be a nun, friday funny motivational quotes for work, funny quotes about stupidity and ignorance, george carlin don t sweat the small stuff, george carlin on god the planet and the freak show, george carlin sayings that don t make sense, i dont want nobody fucking with me in these streets, positive funny inspirational quotes for work, quotes about getting screwed over at work. And a list of people theyre going to visit at 3am. Forget the politicians. } We have the war on crime, the war on cancer, the war on drugs. George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them. Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. "//securepubads.g.doubleclick.net/tag/js/gpt.js"; George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, 42. Like the boogie man. } catch (err) { Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck. George Carlin, 52. Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is considered one of the most influential comedians of all time. Showing 1-30 of 421 "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." George Carlin tags: humor , insanity , lies , lying , self-indulgence , truth 19588 likes Like "The planet is fine. Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. // page settings His critical thinking shines on stage and opens your eyes to modern-day problems that most folks are oblivious to. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born May 12, 1937, in the Bronx, New York. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away. Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, 77. George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin, 20. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("resource", "author_22782"); Theres a humorous side to every situation. [CDATA[ My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. The middle class pays all of the taxis, does all of the work. Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Deal with it. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. - George Carlin profile quotes. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.George Carlin, When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. , Comedian George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get firedand get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. George Carlin, If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, Theres no present. #government. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, 10. ' George Carlin, 56. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Save the planet! If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. [CDATA[ function q(c, r) { Thats the problem. George Carlin, 58. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. there's no such thing as rights. Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesnt mean the circus has left town. That's the problem." "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." " Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ." Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, You show me a lazy prick whos lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and Ill show you a guy whos not causing any trouble. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, I have lots of ideas. Some people see things that are, and ask, why? url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_images-9e9093f0cfddba8c2b1e815375d976a3.css"; When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.George Carlin, I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. Period. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin. Tax them. Dont just teach your children to read Teach your children to question what they read, teach them to question everything. They all said: Try to live together peacefully. BAM! " George Carlin Quotes its only a symbol. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. Laugh until you gasp for breath. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. George Carlin Quotes Government. QuotesGram Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin, 45. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. George Carlin, 33. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, 37. Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize Im listening to it. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. Theres a humorous side to every situation. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English. The planet is fine. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. if (window.csa) { You should die first, get it out of the way. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. We all need to let loose and laugh at things once in a while and making other people laugh as well as think and find meaning behind your jokes is an exceptional talent George Carlin has. Its a great feeling. Topics. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. The following quotes are some of the most thought provoking sentences youll ever read. And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? Tom, Id like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy. These days, Trajedi. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, It turned out I was pretty good in science. George Carlin Sayings and Quotes about life! Well, we know what they want. 3. googletag.pubads().enableSingleRequest(); It creates a hostile work environment. I hate groups of people. var stylesheet = document.createElement("link"); George Carlin Quotes on Religion, Politics, Government & Life - Goalcast Born: May 12, 1937. George Carlin, Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?George Carlin, Electricity is really just organized lightningGeorge Carlin, Would a fly without wings be called a walk?George Carlin, There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Vicious quotes and captions plus a big list of quotations about vicious, xenophobia, and brutal quotes by George Carlin and Francois de la Rochefoucauld. George Carlin (function() { Whether youre looking for inspirational or funny quotes by George Carlin or whether youre looking for his famous quotes politics and education, its all here. Cause pretty soon they have little hats. Enjoy! You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin, 35. "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music." - George Carlin 4. Hes not a cheese. And armbands. George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. This is what we have to offer. God has a three-day weekend.George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. When you are born, you get a ticket to the freak show. //]]> George Carlin Government Quotes "Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes." George Carlin "Religion is just mind control. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, 13. 50 Motivational George Carlin Quotes For Success Top George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion "Government want to tell you things you can't say because they're against the law, or you can't say this because it's against a regulation, or here's something you can't say because its a.secret; "You can't tell him that because he's not cleared to know that." Government wants to control information and control . Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? Get future posts byemail,oryou can follow us onInstagram,Pinterest,andFacebook. Im completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. In fact, George Carlin had some pretty interesting things to say about government. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. } You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. Maybe this time itll work. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. Lets get started! George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I, myself, have killed six people. George Carlin quote: I have certain rules I live by. My - Lib Quotes Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. People are wonderful. 123 Witty George Carlin Quotes on Life and Politics - Internet Pillar Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin, Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, I think people should be allowed to do what they want. There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. It will not be with jack-boots. var node = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0]; It takes up a lot of your time. George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) - Goodreads George Carlin died on June 22, 2008, from cardiac failure at the age of 71. " George Carlin If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin, 47. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. I love individuals. They own you. " George Carlin Quotes "Most of the country was founded by slave owners so they could be free. 70 Wise Quotes From George Carlin | Inspirationfeed 87 Best George Carlin Quotes On Education, Politics & Life I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. And just dumb enough to passively accept it., The government doesnt lie, it engages in disinformation., Im a loyal American and Im not happy unless I let the government and industry poison me a little bit every day., Government wants to control information and control language because thats the way you control thought, and basically thats the game theyre in., Bullshit is the glue that binds us as a nation., I believe the government should step in where the free market fails., Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them., A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does.. var url; I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. Keep em showing up at those jobs. George Carlin, 81. Hes just sayin that stuff. Good. If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. And, let me tell you, theres nothin like it. When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, 48. Pictures. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.George Carlin, Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. var isRetina = window.devicePixelRatio >= 2; // retina display Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. You and I are not in the big club. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, 53. }); And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. It will be Nikesneakers and Smiley shirts. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, By and large, languageis a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres theself-helpsection? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. And probably increase.George Carlin, And heres something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers arent answered. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice., Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups., If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else., Political correctness cripples discourse, creates ugly language and is generally stupid., Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out., When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person., If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders., If you have selfish and ignorant citizens then you too will become a selfish and bad leader.. " George Carlin "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin "I, myself, have killed six people. Its so f***ing heroic. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. Don't forget: YOU have the power to make ANYTHING happen. I think every day all children should have 3 hours of daydreaming. George Carlin 13. Because you have the illusion of choice! George Carlin, 76. The planet is fine. I just dont have as many people who believe it.George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelet?George Carlin. Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("sid", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, 24. It's a Big Club, and You Ain't in it - American Thinker Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin, 27. On The Simple Solution To Parenthood's Most Difficult Question "Parents are burning these kids out on structure. Ever. if (window.ue && window.ue.tag) { window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out', ue.main_scope);window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out:mobileWeb', ue.main_scope); } Deal with it. George Carlin, One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty.
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